Courtesy

i wanted to call this common courtesy, but i couldn’t in good conscious even begin to consider courtesy common. courtesy is a result of being aware of your surroundings. it’s opening a door for someone who’s hands are full, it’s moving out of someone’s way on a sidewalk, it’s taking your phone call outside, away from discussion, it’s stepping aside on the sidewalk to respond to a text message. courtesy is being aware of your surroundings, and doing what you can to make sure you are not causing problems for others, or in fact assisting others.

the opposite, as i have stated numerous times, of awareness is ignorance. not holding the door open for the person behind you, parking your car like a jackass, talking loudly on the phone while your ‘friends’ are trying to watch something on television, ignoring the words someone is sharing with you. all of these behaviors are generally considered discourteous. or, in my words, being an ignorant cunt.

i approach all situations as though i am ignorant of the story that lead to the point in time we are at. when i park next to a $100,000 car that is 2 inches over the white line, i can still park in my spot. i am being a bit of an ignorant cunt by insisting on parking there, knowing it might cause issues, but it’s asserting my right as a driver to park in a properly marked spot, when there is space to allow it.

if the owner of the $100,000 vehicle decides to, when returning, open his door violently into my vehicle to express his displeasure, i don’t really care. my car is a declared total loss that was salvaged. i have done nothing to repair the superficial aspect of my car. i never to, really. it’s a waste of water to wash off pine-pitch that is just going to get back on my car, because i park under trees from time to time.

if, however, the driver decides to take out his pocket knife and slice my tires, then i take issue. granted, this is a very rare and unrealistic scenario, but there are some entitled pricks out there that are inclined to do shit like that. they might even leave 2 $100 bills under my windshield wiper to pay for it (highly unlikely) to pay for the damages, but that still inconveniences me and causes me strife.

irrational reactions are not only plausible, but they happen all the time in the world. people react violently to the ignorant stories they tell themselves to justify their actions. ‘that fucker, he parked right next to me, i can’t get in my car.’

as if it is MY fault for parking his car poorly.

another story. there is a lady who walks around mountain view that i think is amazing. she has a really fun sense of style, often wearing really comfortable looking dress-like things. every time i see her, i make note. i want to bump into her on the street, when walking, so i can tell her i think she is cute.

i was recently barred from my favorite coffee shop because i was told statements like ‘you’re kinda sexy when you’re angry’ were sexual harassment. so when i finally did run into that lady the other day, all i could manage to say to her was ‘i’ve seen you around, and i really wanted to let you know i dig your style.’

how lame is that, right? i wanted to go on and say ‘man, i think your style is great, and you’re really cute. what’s your name?’ et cetera. but i couldn’t, because i had to be more mindful of how my words could be interpreted. instead, my lame statement, while i was in a kilt, PROBABLY seemed like some terribly lame attempt to get her to compliment me on my own fashion style.

and that’s not what i wanted. i wanted to be able to share with her that i found her interesting, and would be open to conversation and coffee. but, i lost my words, because i had to try to be overtly-sensitive to others’ needs. that’s not being courteous, that’s being silent. that’s not helping someone be aware of how their interactions with you have brightened your mood. it’s not helping confirm that being different can help you find the right path.

yeah, i am making a lot of assumptions about this woman being my dream lady-friend, but when it comes right down to it, i would much prefer to assume positive things, than to assume negative things, and keep myself walled off from the world, and put my blinders on.

so, what am i trying to say? open your eyes, be aware of what is around you, and how you may be impacting those around you. if you ignore those simple things, you are being an ignorant cunt.